Press "Enter" to skip to content

The Book of Fred, Verse 1057

And so it came to pass
In the latter days of Babylon
That Fred Deutsch, cracker of backs, giver of laws,
Lamented the wickedness he perceived in his land.
“Alas, Babylon!” cried he.
Confusers and perverters of children and word!
The Lord my God shall smite thee, and I shall be His sword!”

Rep. Fred Deutsch and Rick Santorum, both unhealthily obsessed with what's in other people's pants. Facebook photo, 2019.10.10.
“Deutsch says he began working on this bill nine months ago after meeting children on social media.”

To please his God, Fred wrote a law
And hurried to the Temple to give it force.
“Don’t wait for the doctors, who will tell you lies!
Don’t wait for the harlots and tricksters
Who see in one many and in many one.
Rush this vote,” Fred whispered to the chiefs,
“And let God’s will be done!”

And the Lord Fred’s God heard Fred’s laments
And Fred’s pleas to speed his scroll to force.
And the Lord Fred’s God said, “Let there be snow!”
And there was snow, God’s fearsome snow.
Before the tempest the chiefs all fled
To the far corners of their icy land
Before they could take Fred’s law in hand.

HSA 20200117 mtg canceled for snow
House State Affairs, canceled agenda for 2020.01.17.

The chiefs and Fred’s law and laments would return
To tell the faithless whom their Lord God would burn.
Yet somehow unheard ‘midst their fear-rousing cries
Was the true Word of God writ white in the skies.
“I have heard thee, my Fred, and as usual you’re wrong.
Stop playing doctor, and leave kids alone.”

And so it came to pass
In the latter days of Babylon
That God spoke to his people,
But Fred, giver and cracker,
Chose to, alas, babble on.


  1. Bob Newland 2020-01-16 18:39

    Absurd acts of public idiocy inspire valiant sarcasm. Were shame or self-realization an element of Fred’s life, we wouldn’t have to tolerate this. On the other hand, we would not have seen a truly epic poem by Cory H.

  2. Debbo 2020-01-16 18:42

    Excellent post Cory! So well and accurately written. 😂😂

    The scientific knowledge Deutsch has of transgenderism would leave the head of a microscopic pin feeling stark naked.

    In the linked KELO article he compares gender reassignment surgery to female genital mutilation. No Deutsch, you doofus. They are not at all the same. That’s just your weak political ploy.

    I think we need to send most GOP politicians to long term psychiatric treatment for their extensively documented sexual issues. While they’re gone women and children can be left alone to live their lives without some mucked up white male obsessing over sexual behavior or anything even vaguely related to it.

  3. grudznick 2020-01-16 19:23

    May all the overgodders be smited with the big red book right upon the nose, as they try and stick their “god” into our government. We, all of us, need to stick our government into their churches, with torches and forks and socks loaded with unmashed potatoes.

  4. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2020-01-16 21:37

    Female genital mutilation is a misogynist tool of oppression. So is Fred Deutsch, who fails to realize that informed medical treatment can liberate young people with the conditions poor, scaredFred is targeting.

  5. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2020-01-16 21:39

    Bob and Debbo, thank you. Grudz, keep smiting those overgodders.

  6. Dave 2020-01-16 22:58

    Fred is the worst.

  7. Catherine Ratliff 2020-01-17 08:53

    Good one, Cory.

  8. happy camper 2020-01-17 11:56

    It’s perverse supposed liberals insisting sex reassignment surgery is healthy. Iran is the sex reassignment capital of the Middle East, that’s telling, not because they are liberal, but because it is the only safe way out for gay people. The push for transgender treatment is really just intolerance by a society, self-hate by those subjected to it ultimately expressed as a medical condition for people who don’t fit rigidly defined categories. Without interference, eighty percent of younger kids will come out gay and no longer desire sex change there’s nothing wrong with these kids (in the vast majority of cases). Supposed liberals will say there’s nothing wrong with being gay, but they disregard the research, pull out the surgical instruments, then pat themselves on the back like they’re enlightened. They’re not. They’re reckless. See how wonderful we are we want you to cut off your winkie!!! These supposed liberals care more about looking righteous than they do about the health of these kids. That’s dangerous. Very, very dangerous with long lasting repercussions. And for many it’s just politics to ridicule their opponents. That’s truly sick.

  9. Porter Lansing 2020-01-17 12:53

    Thank you for your opinions, Happy. Unless you provide unbiased documentation for your asserted facts, personal opinions are all you’ve posted.

  10. happy camper 2020-01-17 18:17

    In a place so completely binary like Iran young homosexuals are pushed, even more so than here, to have surgery. Relevant passage from BBC link: “My father came to visit me in Tehran with two relatives,” he says. “They’d had a meeting to decide what to do about me… They told me: ‘You need to either have your gender changed or we will kill you and will not let you live in this family.'”

    His family kept him at home in the port city of Bandar Abbas and watched him. The day before he was due to have the operation, he managed to escape with the help of some friends. They bought him a plane ticket and he flew to Turkey.

    “If I’d gone to the police and told them that I was a homosexual, my life would have been in even more danger than it was from my family,” he says.

    From NPR station: The phenomenon of transgender children “growing out of” their transgender identity by the time they are adolescents or adults is called “desistance” by gender researchers.

    For decades, follow-up studies of transgender kids have shown that a substantial majority — anywhere from 65 to 94 percent — eventually ceased to identify as transgender.

    One study found that older children, girls, and those kids who reported more intense gender dysphoria were more likely to stick with their transgender identity as adolescents.
    These findings have become part and parcel of the “How young is too young?” debate over “social transitioning,” the term for allowing kids to publicly live as their identified gender in every way short of medical treatment.

    If most kids will eventually cease to be transgender, some clinicians have reasoned, isn’t it more prudent to take the least disruptive path in coping with a child’s gender dysphoria? That way, if or when kids later stop identifying as transgender, they will have less to “undo.”

    In recent years, though, a new school of thought has emerged. Many gender specialists now believe that the best course for a transgender child is often “social transition,” where kids as young as three are allowed to change their names, pronouns and style of dress to match the gender they identify with.

  11. Porter Lansing 2020-01-17 18:39

    Deutsch’s proposal, which he copied from a national anti-transgender movement is discriminatory and unnecessary.
    – Transgender kids, like all kids, deserve a chance to experience joy, to learn in a safe environment, to get the health care that they need, and to survive into adulthood,” said Libby Skarin, policy director for the ACLU of South Dakota. “When the government proposes laws that would stigmatize them and undermine their care, they lose those opportunities.”

  12. happy camper 2020-01-17 18:47

    I don’t agree with right-wing Christians types but come to the same conclusion for different reasons. You, Porter, said you had gay family members. Ask them. A real heart to heart. My friends have expressed grave concern these are young confused kids being pushed in a direction way before they understand the complexities of life. Read both articles. In Iran, “It’s not official government policy to force gay men or women to undergo gender reassignment but the pressure can be intense.” Pressures of conformity here are also extreme.

  13. Porter Lansing 2020-01-17 19:12

    Comparing Sioux Falls to Iran? Do you support Tapio, too? My family agrees with and see’s the humor in Chappelle when he notes that the G’s hate the L’s and the B’s but they really have problems with the T’s. It seems you present a fine example.

  14. happy camper 2020-01-17 19:27

    Porter is saying gay men hate lesbians and bisexuals, but “really have problems” with transgenders. No. Lesbians give the best hugs!!! The homosexuals I know, including myself, think this is a rush (by supposed liberals) to remove the pain of being different that children experience at very young age. These kids don’t understand why they are different so just want to be the same and accepted, when in fact if they were allowed to grow and become who they would become they would then understand much more about those differences and come to appreciate so much more about themselves (and others). Supposed Liberals want to take this away from them, so they can feel pious and superior. If you were truly accepting you would simply tell these kids they are perfectly fine. Just the way they are.

  15. bearcreekbat 2020-01-17 19:35

    It doesn’t seem rational to assert whether a person is a “liberal” or “supposed liberal” in this context. One’s political bent seems entirely irrelevant to the discussion about the wisdom of trumping medical judgment in all cases with only a statute.

  16. Porter Lansing 2020-01-17 19:36

    Pious and superior? If you were “truly accepting”? Ignoring kids in anguish? Just tell them they’re OK? How do you dance carrying all that baggage?
    Happy Camper wants a group of extremist Republicans, in a frozen town on the prairie, to make a law that tells medical doctors how to practice. I think that’s wrong.
    Happy. Imagine what Deutsch would do to you if he thought he could get away with it. He despises you because of your sexuality.
    Cancel Deutsch! Watertown’s Worst!

  17. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2020-01-17 19:45

    Hap, it’s far more perverse that the legislators play doctor. I’m not insisting that any procedure is healthy for every person; ignorant legislators are insisting that they know better than doctors what is healthy and what isn’t healthy for all patients.

  18. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2020-01-17 19:47

    Maybe if they get another snowstorm on Wednesday, they’ll get the message.

  19. mike from iowa 2020-01-17 19:58

    Fred needs to meet this judge for the 5 th circuit. They could agree so much they might shack up.

    Trans woman asked the three judge court to address her as a woman and she got a lesson in impartiality by a lifelong lawyer dead set against LGBTQ rights.

    Judge Duncan’s opinion in Varner confirms these groups’ fears. The thrust of Duncan’s opinion is that even though he could use female pronouns and refer to Jett as a woman as a matter of courtesy, no one can make him. So he won’t.

    There are no broader legal stakes here — only the question of whether Duncan and his fellow Republican colleague, Judge Jerry Smith, will afford Jett a modicum of dignity. Duncan and Smith opted for cruelty.

  20. mike from iowa 2020-01-17 20:03

    Personally, I think forcing gawd and guns on children before they are old enough to understand the complexities of life is child abuse.

  21. happy camper 2020-01-17 20:05

    Well, sadly, life does include a lot of pain. Those who grew up GLBT understand that, but the T simply may not be permanent. In fact my friends (myself included) agree we fell within what today would be T, but we grew to appreciate our given sex. The legislators are being conservative perhaps for different reasons than the cautious gay people I know. That said the doctors and medical community are being pushed by Supposed Liberal Idealogues (that’s why it’s relevant BCB) in a similar way to the Iranian Theocrats. Telling your children they’re fine just the way they are is essential, and explaining to them they will become their own persons for the unique way they will grow and come to see the world – That’s Liberal!!! What you’re insisting upon is just the opposite.

  22. Porter Lansing 2020-01-17 21:45

    Parents and doctors are best to help young people with identity issues not Fred Deutsch or Happy Camper who both are trying to put their personal agendas between these children, their parents, and their doctors. In short, mind your own business!

  23. Debbo 2020-01-17 23:33

    That’s perfect, Porter.

  24. mike from iowa 2020-01-18 08:05

    Well, sadly, life does include a lot of pain.

    Not for wingnuts who ignore other’s pain and titillate themselves showering riches down on the rich.

  25. Porter Lansing 2020-01-19 15:39

    Watertown’s Rep. Deutsch claims to have written this bill after talking to minors on social media. Really, Fred? It would be best for all if you stayed away from other people’s sons.
    Whomever wrote this bill, nobody knows but it wasn’t Fred Deutsch. It has also been introduced in Colorado as the Protect Minors From Mutilation And Sterilization Act – HB1114.
    Wiser minds control our legislature and this hogwash was sent directly to State Veterans & Military Affairs committee, which is where turds go to be flushed.

  26. Porter Lansing 2020-01-20 20:47

    DEUTSCH’s LATEST … He’s teamed up with paid mouthpiece Pat Powers attempting to justify unqualified lawmakers getting between parents, transgendered kids, and their healthcare team by inaccurately saying insurance won’t cover surgery until age 18.
    Here’s some help for any parent in this situation.
    ~ These transgender health insurance exclusions may be unlawful sex discrimination. The health care law prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex, among other bases, in certain health programs and activities.
    ~If you believe a plan unlawfully discriminates, you can file complaints of discrimination with your state’s Department of Insurance, or report the issue to the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services by email to
    ~ Once you’re enrolled in a plan, if your health insurance company refuses to pay a claim or ends your coverage, you also have the right to appeal the decision and have it reviewed by an independent third party.

  27. happy camper 2020-01-22 18:49

    The motives behind this horrible mistake vary I’m thinking now. For some it is just blind politics, for others it is way overprotectiveness. I would like to think most DFP commentators fall into the latter to such a degree they can’t even look at facts. I lost my temper because I am concerned beyond belief kids are being led down an alley they can’t turn back. My same level of anger hasn’t dissipated because these kids are being physically altered there are therapists who think they can identify transgender kids while they are still infants. Disagree with prevailing thought you will be chastised. Here’s another reminder these kids should be left alone to develop: “Only very few trans- kids still want to transition by the time they are adults. Instead, they generally turn out to be regular gay or lesbian folks. The exact number varies by study, but roughly 60–90% of trans- kids turn out no longer to be trans by adulthood.” Your zealousness is destroying lives.

  28. happy camper 2020-01-23 16:46

    Twelve minutes of reporting that will force you to look at transgender in a more balanced way, which includes clinical psychologists who are too afraid to show their face they are both ashamed for the treatment they felt forced to give and retribution for speaking their minds. If you care about these kids you will give 12 minutes to question your beliefs on the matter. In fact, if we care about these kids we should be constantly questioning if what we do for them is right.

  29. Debbo 2020-01-27 20:32

    Mike, I think it’s on page 69 of the GOP handbook, “Pandering to Constituents,” under the subheading, “How to Make Use of the Military While Underpaying and Underequiping Them.”

  30. Porter Lansing 2020-01-28 16:18

    -Fact is, transgender is a genetic marker not a sexuality. This causes jealousy in gay men when the T is considered equal in LGBTQ. Notice Contrary Camper uses GLBTQ instead of the standard LGBTQ, showing his demand for superiority.
    -Gay men (Who knows about Fred Deutsch?) want trans kids to just “suffer along” and become self loathing adults with many of the same self respect issues that gay men deal with.
    -Modern treatments have significantly increased trans kids lives and reduced suicidal tendencies. It’s just gay selfishness to want them to suffer.
    -(Camper’s sources are both invalid. James Cantor is a supporter of J. Michael Bailey, Ray Blanchard, and Anne Lawrence who are part of the clique of sexologists at Toronto’s notorious Clarke Institute. Andrew Sullivan is an ultra right wing extremist.)

  31. Robin Friday 2020-01-28 20:27

    I’m sorry, Cory, somehow I lost that in the process of getting a new laptop set up. Priceless.

    the true Word of God writ white in the skies.
    “I have heard thee, my Fred, and as usual you’re wrong.
    Stop playing doctor, and leave kids alone.”

    That says it all. I don’t know about gods, but that’s the way I roll.

  32. Robin Friday 2020-01-28 20:30

    But today I hear they dropped two more homophobic, transphobic, intellectually deficient proposals on us, lest we should get complacent.

  33. Robin Friday 2020-01-28 20:38

    happy camper, I can tell you from experience that when they are grown adults they will tell you they have done the right thing and thank you for helping them get through it. But that does not mean that they are totally free of the depression and the demons and the trauma and the PTSD they grew up with. They are still on the path to wholeness, but they are on the right path.

  34. Debbo 2020-01-29 13:37

    My guess is that ALEC told the SDGOP that transgender people have been selected as their Distraction for the 2020 session. They never pick white males for Distraction. WM are always their #1 Enable Everything demographic.

  35. Debbo 2020-01-29 17:22

    City Pages, a Minneapolis weekly tabloid, has an article about the “Unsung Heroes of the Twin Cities.” They’re wonderful, but not well known folks who are working on making life better for others.

    The Rev. Lawrence Richardson is one of them. He is {gasp} transgendered too. (no paywall)

  36. Robin Friday 2020-01-29 18:12

    Good guessing, Debbo. But I also believe the current Pompeo-PBS reporter flap is just distraction, and he is a white male-evolent. Enjoyed seeing your picture with Roger, even though sad for Roger and family and all of us who so respected him and his way of thinking. Such wisdom.

    And thank you for the news on the Rev. Richardson

  37. Robin Friday 2020-01-29 18:19

    I shouldn’t say it’s all ALEC, it’s also CWA (Concerned Women for America) and RTL (Right to Life) and Eagle Forum and all the rest of the Christian Right rolled into one. But ALEC writes the legislation for the fools in Pierre and other state capitols and foists it on all of us.

  38. Robin Friday 2020-01-29 18:53

    A couple of years ago, legislators tried to foist the bill for belonging to ALEC on taxpayers. Didn’t work, but we shouldn’t be surprised if it comes up again. Seems as if since Trump is elected, all bets are off as to how low everything can go.

  39. o 2020-01-30 11:34

    Once conservatives wanted a government small enough to drown in a bathtub, now conservatives want that government just small enough to fit into doctor’s offices.

  40. mike from iowa 2020-02-11 11:23

    Sort of similar…..

    California banned state tax funded visits to Texas since they discriminate against LGBTQ people and kids.

    Texas retaliates to protect religious freedom to harm LGBTQ people and kids. From link above…

    Texas’ foster care system has separately come under scrutiny for failing to care for kids in state custody. A federal judge has repeatedly chastised the state for failing to reform its foster care system, which courts have found unconstitutional for putting kids at risk of violence.

    Paxton’s “religious liberty excuses are a false argument to continue his clear and ongoing war on LGBTQ Texans, as evidenced by the dozens of actions he has taken against our community while in office,” said Ricardo Martinez, CEO of Equality Texas.

    The 2017 Texas foster care law “continues to hurt children who sleep in office buildings and die in the state’s care because there are not enough foster parents when a child could otherwise be adopted by loving LGBTQ parents,” he said.

    Nothing says kristian loving by punishing kids for phony kristian beliefs.

  41. Porter Lansing 2020-02-11 13:24

    The bill failed to pass but Fred Deutsch did get his excuse to leer at teen genitalia on the internet without getting prosecuted for viewing child porn, again. He’ll be back but ’til then he’s got another year to do “research” on naked kid’s private parts. Sure, Fred. It’s all about helping teens. Right?

  42. Porter Lansing 2020-02-12 12:16

    White supremacist propaganda distributed across the U.S. jumped more than 120% from 2018 to 2019, the Anti-Defamation League found. Republican state’s incidents of propoganda distribution and legislation targeting African Americans, Latinx, LGBTQ people, and Native Americans grew massively.

  43. Debbo 2020-02-12 13:46

    All with the sneering approval of Rancid Racist defiling the WH.

    When Kristen Gillebrand was campaigning she said the first thing she would do if elected was “Chlorox the White House.” I don’t think Chlorox will be enough.

  44. Robin Friday 2020-02-12 18:39

    Tonight (Wednesday) I’m reading that the bill will be resurrected on the Senate floor, possibly as early as tomorrow. We’re not out of the woods yet on providing treatment to children when they need it and want it. Shame, shame, shame.

Comments are closed.