Last updated on 2019-02-16
In this weekend’s Avoidable Complications Department, I drove 200 miles yesterday to spend five minutes at the Icon Event Hall to renominate seven statewide Democratic candidates whom my party properly nominated in June but whose nominations were spoiled by two errors by South Dakota Democratic Party leadership.
Around 6:20 p.m., the South Dakota Democratic Party met in convention for the second time this summer, with 18 voting delegates in attendance. Party chair Ann Tornberg took full responsibility for the june screw-up, then yielded the floor to convention co-chair Larry Lucas. Business then proceeded quickly.
I rose to nominate the following candidates:
- Randy Seiler for Attorney General
- Alexandra Frederick for Secretary of State
- Wayne Frederick for Public Utilities Commissioner
- Tom Cool for Auditor
- The Reverend Doctor Aaron Matson for Treasurer
- Woody Houser for Commissioner of School and Public Lands
- Michelle Lavallee for Lieutenant Governor
Delegate John Kennedy Claussen was in the hall. I considered substituting his name in that last position. Per quantum theory, alternative universes branched off in which the South Dakota Democratic Party descended into Constitution Party-style civil war. But in this branch of the multiverse, I wanted us to stay on track for shortest convention ever. Besides, Billie Sutton was on his way, and I didn’t want him to have to rewrite his speech.
Delegates offered no other nominations. Upon Chairman Lucas’s call, the delegates affirmed the nominations without dissent. The delegates also approved unanimously the party platform, not because we didn’t have a platform—no party error annulled the platform adopted at the first convention on June 16, but our party constitution says that the convention shall adopt a platform, so, since we were a legal convention, we adopted a platform.
I rose to a point of information, asking for the chair’s assurance that all convention officers would sign the certification of nomination of our slate of candidates immediately after adjournment, in view of all interested delegates. Chairman Lucas provided that assurance.
We were on the brink of adjournment when John Schmidt rose to put a stop to our stoppage. The hall held its breath. Schmidt had challenged Wayne Frederick for the PUC nomination at the June convention but lost. Was Schmidt going to try to oust Frederick? Would be there be fisticuffs?
Before anyone could reach for Robert’s Rules, Schmidt asked if his speech would be placed on the record. Chairman Lucas expressed confusion, as did the quizzical faces of every other delegate in the hall. Schmidt clarified: he wanted assurance that his unsuccessful nomination in June and the speech he made in support of that effort would remain on the record. Convention minutes contain no transcript of any nominee’s speech, but Schmidt’s nomination from the floor on June 15 remains a matter of party and public record.
The motion to adjourn then passed with enthusiasm. Convention officers immediately lined up at a table to sign duplicate copies of our certification of nominations.
Party Chair Ann Tornberg averred she will personally drive the certifications to Pierre and hand-deliver them to the Secretary of State by the Tuesday deadline. Party leaders are keeping the exact route and time of Tornberg’s trek to the Capitol secret in an effort to thwart any efforts by Republican operatives or the Highway Patrol from thwarting the nominations, but there was talk of separate cars for each document, decoy vehicles, drone deliveries, and perhaps jalapeño powder to prevent SDGOP chairman Dan Lederman from attempting to eat the papers.
But we have our nominees… again. By Tuesday at five p.m., they will be official. On with the campaign!
This is the best thing I’ve read since Tina Brown ruined “The New Yorker.”
“Per quantum theory,” time will tell if we are a part of a “Democratic Wave” or merely a particle in time, for the duality of our ticket speaks to potentially either, or both, outcomes.
Quantum politics is an easy out for politicians too, because they can be all things to all people with QP; but time will tell if what is observed is what we actually get both in result and accomplishment for the people of South Dakota as a Party, however.
Ann probably mailed the papers in Friday night using the north post office so they would go out right away. They should arrive at the SOS office Monday … unless something goes wrong.
Did the candidates sign new declarations of candidacy? Uh oh!
I’m for the jalapeno powder, with one amendment. Mix in a large share of Carolina Reaper powder. That would blow PITA Dan’s pinhead off. Not that his head is actually pin size, but it would be after an ingestion of Carolina Reaper powder! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!