Given my consistent track record of beating Jason Ravnsborg in court, I’ve thought maybe I should run for Attorney General. I could help the Governor and the rest of state government read the Constitution correctly, and since I’m an avid bicyclist, I’m far less likely to kill my constituents on the highway.
Plus, you don’t have to be a lawyer to be Attorney General. There aren’t really any qualifications for that august office; per Article 4 Section 7, you just can’t be elected to that office more than twice in a row. Chad Haber had no law degree when he ran for Attorney General in 2014 and won 18% of the vote. Given my superior ability to understand and follow the law, not to mention Ravnsborg’s own dismal failure as an Attorney General, driver, and decent human being, I could easily win the 2022 election and provide this state better legal advice and protection of Constitutional rights than the current officeholder. Besides, Ravnsborg has proven you don’t actually have to have any experience arguing criminal cases in front of a jury to be the state’s top law enforcement officer. That’s what deputies are for (Jim Leach, Randy Seiler, expect appointments…).
Ah, but the South Dakota Republican Party must feel me breathing down Jason’s loosely cravatted neck. On deck Monday in House State Affairs is House Bill 1197, wherein the Republicans appear to step just slightly back from their kakistocracy and suggest that maybe the state’s top lawyer really ought to be a lawyer. HB 1197 would require that our Attorney General be licensed to practice law in South Dakota.
Ah, but rest easy, Jason. I don’t really need to beat you at the polls when I can beat you time and time again in court. Even if House State Affairs follows its Republican leanings and resists HB 1197’s audacious suggestion that the Attorney General have qualifications for the job, I suspect I’ll have more fun and possibly do more good as Secretary of State… because why be an attorney when Lee Schoenbeck would make the Secretary of State a judge?