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Let’s Apply Shutdown Politics to South Dakota and Repealing Abortion Restrictions

Federal government fully open yet? No? O.K.:

As your next Governor, I promise to build a wall… separating state government from women and their doctors. That wall will consist of the following steps:

  1. Repeal any laws dictating to doctors what to say and do to women seeking an abortion.
  2. Repeal South Dakota’s misogynist and unconstitutional 72-hour-plus waiting period for obtaining an abortion.
  3. Repeal the appalling and dangerous mandate that forces women to go to lying, unscientific fake “crisis pregnancy centers” run by religious zealots.
  4. Repeal the restrictions passed in 2016 on abortions after the twentieth week of pregnancy.
  5. Repeal the radical abortion ban that would take effect immediately if the Supreme Court overturns Roe v. Wade.

To build this wall protecting women and their doctors from the thugs and animals trying to break into the clinics, I demand that the Legislature send me a bill taking all of the measures I listed above. Until I receive such a bill, I will veto every bill that comes across my desk.

Revise the formula for special education funding? Not until I get my wall.

Authorize the Regents to build a new stadium? Not until I get my wall.

Repeal the tax on special amusement machines? Not until I get my wall.

Pass the budget that pays our teachers and police and park rangers and road builders? Not until I get my wall.

This single policy priority is more important than anything else this government does.

So when the Department of Revenue can’t process your sales tax filings, when Lake Herman State Park has no one to clean the outhouses, when your Highway Patrol officers are working without pay, don’t blame me. It’s not my fault. Blame your legislators of the opposite party, because it’s their fault for not giving me WHAT I WANT!

That’s how our politics works now. You give me my wall, and then I’ll sign a few other bills… until I think of the next thing I want.


  1. Debbo 2019-01-07 23:53

    I fully support your plan.

    At least it addresses a real issue, not Muddled Mango Maniac’s frantic efforts to please the racist commentators and the Republican white wing.

  2. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2019-01-08 07:06

    Many people say they want my wall. The Legislature has to give it to me.

  3. Jason 2019-01-08 12:38

    IRS refunds are going to go out during the shutdown.

  4. Timoteo 2019-01-08 12:40

    Cute. This put a smile on my face.

  5. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2019-01-09 21:01

    Tax refunds won’t go out under my strategy! Why should they?! What I want is more important than anything else! All shall bow down before me and bring me what I want!

  6. Debbo 2019-01-09 21:41

    Some are saying that, although the Democrats are correct in opposing this stupid wall that the experts and locals say is unnecessary, Dems should just give him what he wants to get the government functioning again.

    This is an exact parallel to a toddler’s tantrum. If you give in to the toddler once, what happens? They throw tantrum after tantrum whenever they want something, because they’ve been shown that it works.

    Some are also saying that, in light of the US budget, $5 billion isn’t that much. I have 3 things to say about that:
    1. Refer to the previous paragraph.
    2. That $ can be very important to many programs.
    3. It’s the people’s $. Don’t squander it. Be responsible.

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