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Lewandowski Still Training His New Show Poodle

Is Kristi Noem really afraid of everybody? She builds a fence around the Governor’s mansion in Pierre (which, come on, is too far away for any “antifa” to bother driving to throw water balloons), and her groomer Corey Lewandowski keeps a fence between her and any serious journalists. Reporter Henry Olsen tried to observe her New Hampshire events yesterday to see if she said anything newsworthy, but Lewandowski came storming out saying, no press:

The event had been billed as open to media, so I signed up with the state party and was put on the press list. Party officials were happy to see me when I arrived, and I picked up my badge with “media” emblazoned under my name. Everything was going well until I mentioned my primary interest was in writing about Noem. I was then pulled aside and told the event was closed to reporters and that I had to leave. The man who delivered that final message was as revealing as it was unexpected: former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski [Henry Olsen, “Kristi Noem Is Auditioning for the National Stage. But Is She Ready for Prime Time?Washington Post, 2020.10.16].

Olsen concludes Lewandowski must recognize the same thing that any of us back home who’ve listened to Noem’s speches have known for years: she’s just not that good at the mic. After ten years in the spotlight, she’s still just a trainee:

It’s telling when a political strategist doesn’t trust his ward to pull off an easy performance when the spotlight is on.

Shrouding Noem from unscripted encounters, even with conservative-leaning journalists, has been par for her course thus far. She has rarely appeared on national media outside of Fox News, and her staff has been politely rejecting my requests for an interview since July. She has given interviews to reliably conservative personalities such as Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk, but she’s being shielded from anything that might be remotely critical. That’s a clear sign that gatekeepers such as Lewandowski don’t think she’s ready for prime time [Olsen, 2020.10.16].

Noem’s not afraid to step out; Lewandowski’s afraid that she will before he has finished his painting and costuming.Down, Kristi

Lewandowski had it easy coaching Donald Trump to the White House. Trump didn’t have to hone any schtick; he just had to be himself—the loud, unscrupulous bully he’s been all of his life. With that trick played out, Lewandowski now turns to a bigger challenge: turning a lucky but aging small-town pageant queen who’s lived off government most of her life into a dynamic campaigner with something to say to anyone beyond the tractor crowd she grew up posing for.


  1. Debbo 2020-10-16

    Protecting her from her own lack of imagination, empathy and intelligence.

  2. Kurt Evans 2020-10-17

    Corey Lewandowski dug his fingertips into the arm of Michelle Fields hard enough to leave four distinct bruises, then accused her of making it up, calling her a “totally delusional” “attention seeker”:

    Fields was forced to relocate due to threats of violence and resigned from her job after her employer failed to support her:

  3. Kurt Evans 2020-10-17

    Corey Lewandowski dug his fingertips into the arm of Michelle Fields hard enough to leave four distinct bruises, then accused her of making it up, calling her a “totally delusional” “attention seeker”…

    Donald Trump’s statements on the matter were flagrantly deceitful:

    Lewandowski pays lip service to evangelical Christians in an effort to manipulate us:

  4. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2020-10-17

    Lewandowski is obviously bad for the country.

    Say, does Kristi bring husband Bryon along on these trips? Or is he still busy making his First Dude video blogs, or selling insurance, or… gee, what is Bryon working on, anyway?

  5. 96Tears 2020-10-17

    What spell is COVID Kristi under with her handler, the Lew?

    She’s going to find out that handlers of Lewandowski’s ilk enjoy showing off their alleged prowess by the names on their client list. COVID Kristi nationally is a no-name. She is a low-level talent in wholesale politics. As a retail politician, she sucks. In a roomful of supporters and donors, she exhibits no energy, but, instead, drains energy in an event.

    Her reputation in Pierre (among those who admired her) was she could handle a script or go to a committee hearing to do somebody’s dirty work. But she can’t function effectively unless somebody would come up with a script or easy-to-follow directions to toss shade on a target. Worse yet, she is lazy and acts entitled.

    While some South Dakotans (supporters and opponents) think that gal is heading for the Big Time, it won’t last long if she even gets there. It takes less than five minutes to figure out there isn’t much “there” there. Plus, the talent pool of women GOP national candidates is substantial and getting larger. That makes them big fish and COVID Kristi an uninteresting minnow.

    This brings me to the original point. The Lew is getting sloppy, even on Fox News. The sun is sinking on the old boy. Republican politics will be redefined after November 3 and nobody – nooooooobody! – will want anything to do with anyone showing the Trump brand. That leaves the Lew marooned with COVID Kristi.

    On November 4, COVID Kristi will discover the fool’s errand she’s been on and the truth that the Lew hasn’t had the magic lately. The mutual turd polishing will cease and she’ll pitch him out like an outdated pair of Garavanis.

  6. chris 2020-10-17

    kristi must be very important to the trump “admin” to be so well lauded with political promises and protected with common thugs. i do wonder what her value/service has been to them.

  7. Darrell Solberg 2020-10-17

    I am appalled at the taxpayers of S.D. allow her to spent tax payer dollars to advance her inept, self-serving ways. At last count it was over 2.4 million and counting! She needs to get her head out of the sand and start fully funding education is S.D.! Maybe of people are too educated they really see how fake she it!!! Time to send Kristi back to the ranch!! Too bad we have to wait until 2022 to do it. I’d also like to hear an honest accounting of the investigation is proceeding on the A.G.’s accident that killed a person. Please people don’t let this one get swept under the rug!!!

  8. Donald Pay 2020-10-17

    96 Tears nails it, except Noem will go on with Lew or catch a ride with someone else. She’s a climber, but in the end she is like Governor Walker of Wisconsin. She might get a look, but in the end she is an empty vessel.

  9. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2020-10-17

    96, who will drop whom first? Which one, Kristi or Corey, will realize the futility of this charade first?

  10. Donald Pay 2020-10-17

    Noem’s only selling points are a vagina and the ability to lie without much of a tell.

  11. 96Tears 2020-10-17

    Corey – COVID Kristi will drop the Lew first. For her, it’s all about vanity.

    She’s a small town snob who is only in love with her reflection. Hence, the half-million dollar iron gate around the G Mansion. The perimeter fence at the State Capitol. The statues. The TV studio for $160,000. Millions spent on Trump at Rushmore. Her likeness on tourism ads on Fox. Service for Trump as the Lew’s poodle (nice one!). One big spending spree to prop up her image on a national stage and waterskiing on Trump’s coattails. But all of this comes to a crashing halt when Trump loses the general election.

    She’s gonna wash those men (Trump and the Lew) right outta her hair and hit the reset button.

    Starting Nov. 4, the Lew will be a has been in a business where you’re only as good as your current client and your next gig. COVID Kristi will have to make a big choice:

    1. Stay in the hunt for national acclaim against much bigger names and women with real accomplishments … even better than a bounty program for hunting skunks and racoons (based on her complete and easily documented failures in South Dakota, COVID Kristi has nothing of importance to sell other than being an almost-was had only Trump been re-elected). This means she must shed her Trump skin, starting with the Lew. Like a snake!

    2. Get the re-elect campaign moving. That means all those D.C. carpetbaggers will need to leave. COVID Kristi’s abysmal failures handling the pandemic because she was too busy shilling for Trump in other states will only remind folks why the carpetbaggers are on the state treasury tit to begin with. The Lew will be packing his bags and moving out of the Governor’s Mansion with the rest. The Lew would be radioactive in a state like South Dakota.

    3. Think about a career as a Fox News TV personality. (Alas, COVID Kristi, you’re morally bankrupt enough to handle Fox News, but your looks — which you exploited to get where you’re at in a party that rewards misogyny and sexualizes its women stars — are fading. Not as fast as Keith Richards, but, honey, they’re getting there.) The Lew might be useful for a little while as Kristi plays footsie with the Fox brass, but it’s going to be a political version of “A Star Is Born.” The Lew knows how that ends and it doesn’t pay his bills.

    4. Go back to the family farm in Hamlin County. Maybe Mr. Kristi Noem can teach the Lew how to drive the tractor or hop on the phone and create leads for new insurance clients. Nah!

  12. chris 2020-10-17


  13. Nix 2020-10-17

    Man Cory, That last paragraph was a zinger. Well done.

  14. Ray Tysdal 2020-10-18

    Did you ever think that maybe they don’t want her back on the farm.

  15. Donald Pay 2020-10-18

    96 Tears brings “South Pacific” into the discussion with his statement about Noem washing Lew out of her hair. Noem is a bit like Nellie Forbush. She’s bigoted and shallow. Nellie, though, had one thing going for her: the ability to let life and love change her. Noem seems to be too much the programmed Christian righty automaton to grow. She has been “carefully taught” to have little empathy or love for anyone not like her.

  16. mike from iowa 2020-10-18

    Give pizza chants.

  17. Janice 2020-10-19

    As the owner of a poodle, I do not appreciate the comparison of Noem to this intelligent breed of dog. If Noem were half as smart as my dog, she would still not be tolerable as governor.

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