When I was little, I had this idea that maybe we could beat the Russians—or at least make Russia prettier—if we bombed them with flower seeds.
Now comes China with a similar plan:
There have been nationwide reports of packages from China containing unsolicited seeds. Unsolicited seeds may contain invasive species, introduce diseases to native plants, or be harmful to livestock.
“The South Dakota Department of Agriculture (SDDA) has received reports of unsolicited seeds being mailed to South Dakotans,” said Lieutenant Governor Larry Rhoden. “We’re not sure the intent behind this activity, but I urge the public to refrain from planting these seeds as invasive species can have devastating effects on South Dakota agriculture” [South Dakota Department of Agriculture, press release, 2020.07.28].
Utah reports residents receiving seeds that may be rose or mint from China and other countries. Several other states are seeing mystery seed deliveries as well. The USDA Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service is investigating; they are currently inclined to believe the seeds are just a ploy to boost sales for some online scammer, not ecological warfare.
If you get some mystery seeds, you might want to keep them around so the state can analyze them. But if your friendly neighborhood horticulturalist won’t take them, don’t just throw them in the trash—stuff can grow in the landfill! Bake those seeds first—at least 200 degrees for 40 minutes—to kill them.
And for Pete’s sake, don’t plant them! They could be spores from Omicron Ceti III, out to turn you into a love machine!
“We’re not sure the intent behind this activity, but I urge the public to refrain from planting these seeds as invasive species can have devastating effects on South Dakota agriculture”
The first phrase pretty much encapsulates wingnut legislation and the second echoes South Dakota’s stance on immigration.
The world pity’s us so much now that these could be turnip seeds to be grown to sustain us as GNOem and Putin’s chubby boy toy, trump, plan to destroy us.
The only invasive species in South Dakota are called republicans. They don’t need water, they only need corruption to destroy crops and landscapes. GNOem is that kind of disaster seed that thinks that 1.25 BILLION meant for Covid, is hers.
Art Oakes on turnips, turns out he was a dozen years off.
“For anyone who’s fearful about America’s financial future or the political fallout from the 2008 presidential race, Art Oakes has one word for you: Turnips.
Oakes, a Keystone resident with a back-to-the-land philosophy of economic survival, planted four 40-foot rows of turnips as a “test plot” in his backyard. He wanted to test his theory that the easy-to-grow root crop could, if necessary, save him and others from economic doom and gloom as efficiently as it saved his old boss and mentor from starvation in a World War II German prisoner of war camp.” Rapid City Journal 11.4.2008
Turnips! If Mr. Art had a bumper crop he would need lots of wagons.
The Repubs have a shyteload of them … they used them to fall off of periodically.
I know a guy who hated his neighbor because the neighbor turned him in for having Shetland ponies on the edge of town. Said they smelled.
So the guy sold the ponies and planted a field of cabbage.
He never picked them and let them rot!
kimchi, the easy way without burying the cabbage.