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Fourth-Grader-in-Chief: Trump Undermines German Confidence in White House

Putin toastЕсли бы я был Владимиром Путиным… 

If I were Vladimir Putin, what would I like to get for Christmas?

An attractive Russian woman beguiling a bunch of armed Americans into supporting the expansion of the Russian arms industry? Sure, that’s a nice stocking stuffer.

But if I’m Vladimir Putin, supreme ruler of the biggest country in the world, I dream big. I dream of forcing the global hegemon, the United States of America, which defeated my empire in the greatest geopolitical struggle of the 20th century, out of my sphere of influence. To do that, I dream of destroying NATO. To do that, I dream of driving a wedge between the United States and Germany, those bastards who invaded us twice in the last century and who now host the largest deployment of U.S. troops in Europe.

Hmm… so what could I do to undermine Germany’s confidence in an alliance rooted in deep political, economic, and cultural ties?

Ах, может быть ничего… Ah, perhaps nothing. I just sit back and let the President of the United States do that for me. What did Chancellor Merkel learn from her meeting with my friend Donald this month?

This was the summation provided to me by a senior European diplomat briefed on the meeting. Trump’s preparedness was roughly that of a fourth grader. He began the conversation by telling Merkel that Germany owes the United States hundreds of billions of dollars for defending it through NATO, and concluded by saying, “You are terrific” but still owe all that dough. Little else concerned him.

Trump knew nothing of the proposed European-American deal known as the Trans-Atlantic Trade and Investment Partnership, little about Russian aggression in Ukraine or the Minsk agreements, and was so scatterbrained that German officials concluded that the president’s daughter Ivanka, who had no formal reason to be there, was the more prepared and helpful….

Merkel is not one to fuss. But Trump’s behavior appalled her entourage and reinforced a conclusion already reached about this presidency in several European capitals: It is possible to do business with Trump’s national security adviser, Lt. Gen. H. R. McMaster, with Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis, and with Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, but these officials are flying blind because above them at the White House rages a whirlwind of incompetence and ignorance.

Trump’s United States of America has become an unserious country, the offender of the free world [Roger Cohen, “The Offender of the Free World,” New York Times, 2017.03.28].

If I were Putin, I’d be laughing just like Jabba. If I were Putin, I’d be thinking, East Germany left us; united Germany will leave you, Donald. You, Donald, shall understand what we felt in 1989. You shall see your NATO curtain fall. You shall see your former friends play Molotov to our Ribbentrop, making friends to forestall conflict in the absence of reliable friends in the West. You shall be America’s Gorbachev, the man with the funny thing on top of his head who leads his empire to ruin in six years… or less.

Here’s mud in your eye, Donald—oh, forgive me! I see you have already muddied yourself and your—how do you say in America?—hashtag-Sad, hashtag-Failing empire.

Антон! Дай мне телефон! Надо позвонить Ангеле—Anton! Give me the phone! I must call Angela….


  1. jerry 2017-03-30 15:37

    Switch “Freedonia” for Russia and add Rufus T. Firefly as trump and we got ourselves a remake of Duck Soup. History does repeat. You also have Flynn as Chicolini and Nunes as Pinky. Hell ya, the gangs all there man.

  2. jerry 2017-03-30 15:59

    In the end, this russia deal will not impeach trump as the republicans are getting or think they are getting what they want. Democrats can keep proving colussion with trump and the russians to the point of a big nothing burger. Trump is a traitor, republicans that continue to support trump are traitors as well, so there ya go. Show me a republican that will get on the impeachment band wagon and it will change my mind. There are no takers because they are all in on it, including our gang here in South Dakota.

    We have to fight old Rufus in a different fight while keeping the warm fire going on him and putin’s engagements. But we should not fool ourselves into thinking that republicans give a care about that whole process.

  3. buckobear 2017-03-30 17:03

    Our three amigos in DC are sure making us proud.

  4. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2017-03-31 06:20

    Kristi, John, and Mike should be able to recognize that Trump’s immature conduct toward the German chancellor damaged the reputation and security of the United States. Even if they can’t muster the courage to say so in public, they should be meeting with Mike Pence and working out their 25th Amendment strategy. The longer they wait, the more Putin gains.

  5. Roger Cornelius 2017-03-31 11:46

    Michael Flynn has asked for immunity and Trump is encouraging it if he testifies at the House Intel Committee hearings, during the campaign of 2016 I distinctly recall Trump saying something like ‘immunity implies guilt’.

    Trump’s isolationists policies; banning immigrants and travelers, building a wall, alienating allies, etc. are aiding Putin’s Russian globalization plans.

    As David Newquest’s points out on his Northern Valley Beacon blog, the Trump/Putin love affair is about the profiting of the 1% in America and in Russia. When all is said and done, it will be Trump and his billionaire friends that benefit from this unholy alliance.

  6. mike from iowa 2017-03-31 13:40

    Flynn’s request for immunity has apparently been turned down. Maybe the Senate already knows what Flynn can tell them.

  7. bearcreekbat 2017-03-31 16:44

    Cory, perhaps this wasn’t your intent with your headline, but you just insulted every single 4th grader in the USA.

  8. John 2017-03-31 19:34

    bearcreek, spot on! You crack us up.
    It speaks volumes that HRC testified many times without seeking immunity. Where there is smoke there is fire – likely applies to Flynn and 45th.
    Rest assured, that he did not under mine German confidence; rather he undermines the free world’s confidence in the White House.

  9. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2017-04-01 10:21

    I can’t speak for the German diplomatic corps, but I sincerely apologize to all fourth graders who exhibit politeness, curiosity, and a love of learning. Such children all stand head and shoulders above the current President of the United States.

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