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Displaced Plainsman Predicts Faux Piety and Lack of Press During Legislative Session

My friend The Displaced Plainsman doesn’t predict his own return to regular blogging (alas!), but he does offer some pessimistic predictions about the 2017 Legislative Session, including continued lobbyist predominance, potty fixations, and this outline of the pompous piety he expects to read in more resolutions:

Whereas: We, the sponsors of this legislation, are supporters of all that is right, holy, just, not to mention fair, And

Whereas: We, the sponsors of this legislation, are supported by God, angels, and cute puppies, And

Whereas: Those who oppose this legislation are obviously unholy, godless heathens who don’t deserve to be considered Americans.

Now, Therefore Be It Resolved: That everything the sponsors of this legislation do or say or propose be viewed as good until the end of time.

And Be It Further Resolved: Everything that those who oppose this resolution do or say or propose be viewed as abhorrently evil and an existential threat to the American Republic [Leo Kallis, “2017 Political Predictions: South Dakota Politics Edition,” The Displaced Plainsman, 2017.01.02].

Of course, we might not notice:

With Bob Mercer being MIA, there’s a 41 percent chance more than half of South Dakotans will forget the legislative session is occurring [Kallis, 2017.01.02].

I’ll do what I can to fill that gap. Fifteen bills in the hopper so far, none of them fighting the culture war.

5 Comments

  1. mikeyc, that's me!

    Yep. Another year, same old legislative session. The definition of insanity.

  2. Adam

    Now that we’ve got those damn Liberals almost completely out of the way, we can get down to business and really-super fight Islam in South Dakota, and put a gun in every child’s hands – in every class room.

    Get more Federal nipples to suck on, and wholly promote phony Christian family values. We do it best round here.

  3. Adam

    MFI, oh my freakin’ Jesus! – but look, are we really all that different from them? If we had oil, we’d be prayin’ for more.

    The only reason The Lord doesn’t increase South Dakota’s teacher pay is because we do not pray hard or good enough, as a state, to earn it.

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