Trump Administration: No Muslims, No Mustaches

Danger: Donald Trump really does think he’s running a reality TV show, not the White House. He’s picking top officials based on how they look:

“He likes people who present themselves very well, and he’s very impressed when somebody has a background of being good on television because he thinks it’s a very important medium for public policy,” said Chris Ruddy, chief executive of Newsmax Media and a longtime friend of Trump. “Don’t forget, he’s a showbiz guy. He was at the pinnacle of showbiz, and he thinks about showbiz. He sees this as a business that relates to the public.”

“The look might not necessarily be somebody who should be on the cover of GQ magazine or Vanity Fair,” Ruddy said. “It’s more about the look and the demeanor and the swagger” [Philip Rucker and Karen Tumulty, “Donald Trump Is Holding a Casting Call. He’s Seeking ‘The Look’,” Washington Post, 2016.12.21].

War hawk John Bolton may not have won the Secretary of State job, which some of the right wing thought he’d be great for, because of his mustache:

John Bolton looking good
Come on! That’s a GQ-quality soup strainer!

Several of Trump’s associates said they thought that John R. Bolton’s brush-like mustache was one of the factors that handicapped the bombastic former United Nations ambassador in the sweepstakes for secretary of state.

“Donald was not going to like that mustache,” said one associate, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to speak frankly. “I can’t think of anyone that’s really close to Donald that has a beard that he likes” [Rucker and Tumulty, 2016.12.21].

Good grief! John Bolton’s mustache is the only reason to appoint him to public office!

Such superficiality in the White House is producing a Cabinet more suited to reality television than real policymaking. That bodes ill for all of us.

Pending the midterm election or impeachment (Lichtmann, Brooks, Heidelberger), whichever comes first, the proper response to such irresponsible image-obsession is artistic mockery.

The mustache only heightens Trump's oral expressivity.
The Bolton mustache only heightens Trump’s oral expressivity.
Trump smoochy 'stache
The ladies love the lip liner.
Snidely Donald, tying us all to the railroad tracks.
Snidely Donald, tying us all to the railroad tracks.
Trump as Hitler
It suits you, Donald.

8 Responses to Trump Administration: No Muslims, No Mustaches

  1. Story: some postulate that “the mustache may have impacted the decision”


    Do better, dude.

  2. Roger Cornelius

    So, tell me, does Kellyanne Conway really have the “look”?

  3. Porter Lansing

    Great article, Cory. Insightful and compelling. ✯✯✯✯✯

  4. Roger, yes she does have the look. The crew would not be complete without these two

  5. Porter Lansing

    QUOTE OF THE WEEK: The swamp, it seems, is here to stay. “I’m told he now just disclaims that. He now says it was cute, but he doesn’t want to use it anymore,” – Newt Gingrich, explaining to NPR’s “Morning Edition” that Trump seems to have abandoned his “drain the swamp” catch phrase.
    … All those promises made to get your vote. They were just “cute”. We don’t mean those anymore.

  6. Well, Roger, she doesn’t have a mustache.

  7. Oh, Porter, now Gingrich has walked that back, saying he “goofed.” Might as well grow that beard out now, Newt.

  8. Dicta, I stand by my every word as accurate. In addition to the long-time friend quoted, see Trump’s own spokesman:

    “Presentation is very important because you’re representing America not only on the national stage but also the international stage, depending on the position,” said Trump transition spokesman Jason Miller [Rucker and Tumulty, 2016.12.21].

    No misleading in my portrayal of those words.