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Stuff Happens, So Jesus Must Be Coming, Says Canadian Televangelist

Aberdeen is one of three sites in South Dakota and hundreds around the U.S. where Christians seeking special knowledge of the future have been gathering for four nights in a row (plus a special noon session Saturday!) to watch Canadian televangelist Shawn Boonstra tell them what I thought all Christians already knew: Jesus is coming!

Ad for "The Appearing," Aberdeen American News, 2018.10.14.
Ad for “The Appearing,” Aberdeen American News, 2018.10.14.

“The Appearing,” Boonstra brands it, though darned if I could read that in the black-and-white graphic at the top. I had to scan down to Session 3 (really? two in one day? you really want to spend that much of your weekend wallowing in an Apocalypse that you can do nothing to hasten or forestall?) to make out the term.

But yes, Jesus is coming, about to appear, and the Bible and world events say so, in ways that no reader of the Bible before Boonstra could ever figure out. Boonstra says “the signs are all around us” and invites visitors to take a quiz in which they can guess at the stats he says support his conclusion that the Kingdom is nigh. Take the quiz first if you don’t want me to spoil the answers, but I figure this evidence of the Second Coming (with the Bible verses Boonstra cites as related prophecy) is too good not to share with everyone:

  • The world spent $1.6 trillion on military arms in 2016. “And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars” (Matthew 24:6).
  • 10.7% of the world’s population is hungry. “And there will be famines” (Matthew 24:7).
  • 4,660 earthquakes have taken place worldwide this year (actually, Wikipedia says 9,172 as of October… but there were more earthquakes in five of the years of the Obama Presidency than were recorded during Trump’s first year). “And there will be great earthquakes in various places” (Luke 21:11).
  • 6,899,000 adults are under correctional supervision in the United States. “And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold” (Matthew 24:12). Boonstra provides no data on how much love is growing cold, but perhaps we could cite one projection that erectile dysfunction drug sales are projected to rise 5.7% a year through 2024?
  • The tsunami that hit Japan in March 2011 was 133 feet high. “Nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea” (Luke 21:25 NIV).
  • France was attacked by terrorists in November 2015. “Men will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world” (Luke 21:26 NIV).
  • 215 million Christians are suffering religious persecution worldwide. “Then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another” (Matthew 24:10).
  • 55% of American workers didn’t use all of their vacation time in 2015. “Many shall run to and fro” (Daniel 12:4).
  • Humanity produces 2.5 quintillion bytes (that’s exabytes) of data a day. “Knowledge shall increase” (Daniel 12:4)… but let’s not mistake data for knowledge: YouTube churns out lots of bytes, but the knowledge per byte appears to be decreasing.
  • One study says drug resistant microbes could kill 10 million people a year by 2050. “And there will be…pestilences” (Mathew 24:7). Worth noting: 10 million deaths a year is a worst-case scenario, and a 2016 paper showed that the 2014 study rests on numerous unknowns and “problematic calculation steps.”
  • Nine nations are known to have nuclear weapons. “The time has come for…destroying those who destroy the earth” (Revelation 11:18).
  • Over 30 countries have been involved in border disputes since 2000. “Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom” (Luke 21:10). But the global death rate from battle in the 21st century so far is well below even the 20th-century troughs in battle deaths immediately after each World War.

You won’t find more airtight connections between Biblical prophecy and contemporary facts and figures than that.

15 Comments

  1. RJ 2018-10-14 17:24

    Lol..The anti-Christ does hold the highest position of power in this country, so perhaps this guy is right.

  2. RJ 2018-10-14 17:25

    How does not taking vacation time equivocate the coming of Jesus😉

  3. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2018-10-14 17:45

    RJ, that vacation point stuck out as a real non-connector in this mish-mash of any-given-day-in-history. I could see folks steeped in the Protestant Work Ethic saying that taking less vacation time is a sign of greater diligent godliness. Everybody gets a sabbath already; who needs more time off than that?

  4. Mike Henriksen 2018-10-14 17:58

    Strange how he avoids Matthew 7:15. “Beware of false prophets, who come in sheep’s clothing…”

  5. grudznick 2018-10-14 18:42

    God is dead. I guess that doesn’t mean Jesus or a fellow named Jesus isn’t headed our way to appease the Overgodders like Messrs. Howie and Godwin and take all their money to fuel late night binge drinking and mid-morning binge breakfasting.

  6. John 2018-10-14 19:38

    The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. – FDR
    It’s amazing this day and age that folks pontificate such fear, myth, legend, and folklore.
    For an alternative view of how society arrived where it is today, read, “A World Lit Only By Fire” by Wm Manchester.

  7. jerry 2018-10-14 20:02

    Not one word about the UN report on climate change that trumpers tried to hide away. So we have a dozen years or so to get our poop in a group or else… curtains. Why would I want to listen to this goof off to tell me what I already know.

    “”The world’s leading climate scientists have warned there is only a dozen years for global warming to be kept to a maximum of 1.5C, beyond which even half a degree will significantly worsen the risks of drought, floods, extreme heat and poverty for hundreds of millions of people.

    The authors of the landmark report by the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) released on Monday say urgent and unprecedented changes are needed to reach the target, which they say is affordable and feasible although it lies at the most ambitious end of the Paris agreement pledge to keep temperatures between 1.5C and 2C.

    The half-degree difference could also prevent corals from being completely eradicated and ease pressure on the Arctic, according to the 1.5C study, which was launched after approval at a final plenary of all 195 countries in Incheon in South Korea that saw delegates hugging one another, with some in tears.” https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/oct/08/global-warming-must-not-exceed-15c-warns-landmark-un-report

  8. buckobear 2018-10-14 22:43

    Should we run towards or away from Aberdeen ??

  9. Debbo 2018-10-14 23:12

    Hilarity ensues!!

    “Boonstra provides no data on how much love is growing cold, but perhaps we could cite one projection that erectile dysfunction drug sales are projected to rise 5.7% a year through 2024?”

    “You won’t find more airtight connections between Biblical prophecy and contemporary facts and figures than that.”

    That was fun and entertaining. Sort of a Pootie’s Cuties view of religion.

  10. Jason 2018-10-15 07:15

    Haven’t we been hearing that we only have 10 years left to save the planet since 1970? Yes, in fact 1970 is the first instance I have on record of the head of the UN (U Thant in those days) saying we only have ten years left. I only wish we just had ten years left till we stopped having to hear how we only have ten years left. Can “Ten Years After” get back together and please do a reunion tour?

    https://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2018/10/oh-goody-a-new-ipcc-report.php

  11. Darin Larson 2018-10-15 08:42

    Jason,

    In your article cited, there is no citation to the source material for the claim that the UN said “we only have ten years left.” Why is that?

  12. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2018-10-15 22:05

    Jason wants to change the topic again. Why is it so important for him to deflect criticism of obvious and illogical charlatans?

    Boonstra’s signs of the apocalypse are nonsense.

  13. jerry 2018-10-15 22:31

    Alvin Lee died, so no.

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