An eager reader sends a clip of this enigmatic ad in the Thursday Madison Daily Leader:
I guess I’d rather have pool sharks than gunslingers in my classroom. Pool balls won’t go off accidentally, and they don’t send a constant message of paranoia and lack of faith in civic institutions.
If I go out on a limb, I could read those two pool balls, 13 and 10, as a sly reference to Revelation 13:10:
If you are doomed to be captured, you will be captured. If you are doomed to be killed by a sword, you will be killed by a sword. This means God’s people must learn to endure and be faithful! [Contemporary English Version, BibleHub.com]
Swords—why haven’t we talked about giving teachers swords? They can at least double as pointers.
Whatever we do to “harden” our classrooms and turn our teachers into pool-hall brawlers, we still aren’t dealing with the root problem, our culture of violence:
Empowering students is great in theory. But this reminds me of teaching women self-defense to ward of possible rapists. We’re not getting at the root of the problem, or doing anything that will actually changing our culture of violence. These kind of solutions are like using bandaids to treat stab wounds. They might help a little, but eventually you’re going to need a better, more longterm solution or else everything is going to go to s**t [Kate Spencer, “School Arms Students with Cans of Food to Throw at Shooters, Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore,” Mommyish, 2015.01.13].
The advertiser’s P.O. box indicates he or she probably doesn’t read the blogs or do much online marketing. The only Google juice for that Highmore address tells me that one James Gunderson at that Highmore P.O. box purchased a 2008 Pontiac G5. I invite your further detection and speculation as to the origin and intent of the ad.
Maybe all students should receive a standard issue Magic 8-Ball from the government that they could consult each morning to determine if they should go to school.
Box 295 Highmore? I might do a little research.
OK now I read to the bottom of the story. James Gunderson is the local obnoxious political crazy guy in Highmore. He is a Highmore native who moved away for his entire adult life and returned when he retired. For several years he lived in a fifth wheel camper year round and would travel around town on a Segway scooter. His MO is to corner a group of people and engage them in political conversation, if they expressed any sort of disagreement he would blow up into a shouting, head turning fool. I didn’t realize he was also on a religious kick. I’m not surprised.
Don’t even think about this. Elephants are endangered and every dammosexual in South Dakota will be beating the bushes looking to bag one so they can have their own pool balls.
BTW wart hog ivory is superior to elephantine tusk as it does not yellow with age so I’ve heard. If only wart hogs had bigly tushes. As a warm consolation prize, warthog ivory is perfect for big game rifles as a front night-sight, in case elephants go nocturnal.
The advertisement is a clever ploy to sell Windsor (next frame over) to get school kids to drink it and wile away their time in pool halls. It worked for me! Don’t know much about history, don’t know much biology. But I do know geometry by using the triangle similarity theorems to make that 8 ball for game.
In the American West, there is a tradition of using pool balls in self-defense. It was originated by Wyatt Earp. Check out the clip below to understand how it works:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vo3_sEm0KDQ
I recall my dad speaking of a teacher who kept a tennis ball in her desk. When a student turned around to talk to another student, he or she felt a tennis ball bounced off this back of his or her head. And then had to go retrieve the ball. Perhaps the pool balls are the same idea, adapted for a tougher time?
I really do like the idea of spending a class period or two setting up “Home Alone” defense system for my classroom. I will also be needing old irons, paint cans, and giant rubber bands.
If this truly is just an offer for mis-matched, surplus pool balls that is using a page from the NRA playbook to make some sales (instead of more guns), I say, “Bravo!”
Pool balls? nonsense! A female teacher friend of mine keeps a golf club in her room and would be much more dangerous with that than with a pool ball. She wouldn’t miss like Elin Nordegren.
Maybe he’s an Agents of SHIELD fan. Ror, haven’t you seen that blue lady, Sinara, throwing those two balls of death?