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Former Legislator Puts Food Conservation over Accident Reporting

In today’s Oopsie! file, former state legislator Ryan Maher has been having a little trouble keeping between the ditches. From this week’s Timber Lake Topic:

from the Timber Lake Topic, 2016.01.07
from the Timber Lake Topic, 2016.01.07

Evidently the Five-Second Rule is not an affirmative defense for caterers who don’t call the sheriff after taking their leftover potato salad on an off-road adventure.

17 Comments

  1. Bill Fleming

    …I thought it was the 15 second rule. Takes me at least 5 to notice that I dropped it. :-)

  2. Rorschach

    So he waited for his BAC to get down under the legal limit before reporting the accident. Worked out for him.

  3. Eeew, Bill! If you don’t notice it fell, you don’t see what’s happened to it. Dog might have licked it, flies might have puked on it—doesn’t any-second rule require maintaining line of sight with the target?

  4. Nick Nemec

    Hey Cory, it’s all good, we need to build our immunities.

  5. jerry

    I would have done the same thing. 3 days and nights in the pookey is a whole lot cheaper than the thousands it costs you when you are caught. As long as you did not get caught drunk behind the wheel or under the vehicle, you can get the insurance to pay for your escaped Escape.

  6. Spencer

    You laugh now; he will make that $250 back many times over in Tupperware endorsements.

  7. moses

    Saving food right.

  8. mike from iowa

    How did he not get charged with reckless driving or impaired driving? He must have been impaired if he wrecked,don’t you think?

    He gets saved from a moving violation so his insurance won’t go up for that.

  9. jerry

    mike from iowa, the “accident” was caused by something other than impairment, so they just call it kind of a no fault accident like when you hit a deer or something. What he ducked in this was the dui or dwi plus the damages to his vehicle. This amounts to several thousands of dollars that the coyote saved by running. By his own admission, he was drinking, but not enough to keep him off the road in the future. The careening caterer will be allowed to go shopping for a new rig as soon as he is free.

  10. mike from iowa

    jerry,it appears your whole state is screwed up from stem to stern. No offense and I rilly feel your pain.

  11. jerry

    Well, we do not have Steve King, so we do have that going for us.

  12. grudznick

    Saving food is very important. The very young Mr. Maher may have been driving around with some sandwiches at an odd hour but he was probably catering a wedding event and showed wisdom and experience beyond his meager years. Sometimes those need to be set up very early. And he probably could afford the $250 fine more easily than having a lot of fancy finger sandwiches go bad on him.

  13. leslie

    Did cops interview the friend? Good cop/bad cop? False report? Tampering?Accessory? Insurance fraud by republican? Selective law enforcement. Definitely.
    Had injury occurred these would be multiple felonies. 10 years. If alcoholic, unable to stop drinking, this young man becomes damaged by prison’s incompetent care for an ill person, who becomes likely permanently indebted to the state, likely permanently maimed/raped/emotionally scarred by incarceration, a life-time burden on family and society. “Justice” system? Not even close. For either one of them.

  14. Rorschach

    Doesn’t every caterer drink while they are working?

    He was either drinking while he was working or he was drinking in the car on his way home. Maybe both.

  15. mike from iowa

    Maybe he invented a novel way of tossing salads and will get rich,if not killed.

  16. Dana P

    driving a passenger home…..reported accident hours later.

    Has kind of Ted Kennedy-Chappaquiddick-esque feel to it, doesn’t it? Luckily, no one died. I wonder if LEO interviewed the so-called passenger that Maher was driving home……hmmmm

  17. We can only assume that the passenger sustained no injuries that required medical attention or insurance payment.

    My problem if I were a caterer wouldn’t be drinking; it would be eating. Yum.

Comments are closed.