NASA announces the strongest evidence yet for liquid water on Mars, and conservatives suffer an allergic reaction to science. Rush Limbaugh baselessly asserts that a corrupt NASA will turn the discovery into some component of the leftist agenda. Breitbart says NASA timed the announcement to promote the upcoming film The Martian because the Obama Administration wants to help leftist movie star Matt Damon make more money.
People read this stuff? Companies buy ads to sponsor this stuff?
Fine. I’ll tell you the real conspiracy.
NASA’s new discovery builds on research published last April about the presence of perchlorates. That information could have led to an even stronger assertion of Mars’s potential to sustain life. But in April, South Dakota’s state-favored marketing firm Lawrence & Schiller was launching its cheeky and expensive ad campaign for the state, the silly video and website averring that living in South Dakota was better than dying on Mars. L&S targets hipsters, and hipsters are hip to science, so releasing this information about recurring slope lineae back in April would have torpedoed Lawrence and Schiller’s campaign: What do they mean Mars is “not breathable”? Electrolyze the water in those RSLs, and we’ve got all the oxygen we need! Dummies!
The three million the state paid Lawrence & Schiller wasn’t for production costs. It was to bribe NASA and the Obama Administration to withhold that scientific data until after the L&S Mars ad could play out. And to boot, Governor Dennis Daugaard had to promise the Obama Administration that he would finally give in and expand Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act. On the same day that NASA finally released the RSL discovery, Governor Daugaard announced his Medicaid proposal.
As Breitbart’s John Nolte would say, Case closed.
Let the sponsors come rolling in, like water down the Martian slopes!