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Allender Ad Gets Rhyme Bonus, Spelling Demerit

Sticker fun in the Sunday paper! Former police chief Steve Allender made sure everyone in Rapid City got a sticker in yesterday’s Rapid City Journal reminding them to vote for him for mayor on June 2.

Mark Your [Calendar] Vote Allender—RCJ sticker, 2015.04.05
Mark Your [Calendar] Vote Allender—RCJ sticker, 2015.04.05
Mark Your Calender—Vote Allender! Oh! The rhyme! How’s Mayor Sam gonna beat that? Golly-Gee Whilliker, Vote for Kooiker? 

But wait: Team Allender let its drive for rhyme mutate into thousands of little misspellings all over town. Unlike his last name, calendar ends in -ar.

Team Allender could have indulged its urge for visual rhyme with a number of correctly spelled alternatives:

  • Hold a spaghetti feed and say, “Bring your colander, vote for Allender!”
  • Rouse the anti-Dutch vote: “Beat the Hollander, vote for Allender!”
  • Go for the LGBT vote: “Be cool with transgender, vote for Allender!” (although now the accent is shifting and throwing off the meter!)

I suppose if any mayoral candidate can bridge Rapid City’s racial gap, I will forgive the occasional off-the-cuff misspelling. But a Sunday-paper advertisement is a thoughtfully reviewed communication that should be perfect.


  1. mike from iowa 2015-04-06 08:27

    The LGBT rhyme actually rhymes. The others not so much. How is the other dude’s name pronounced?

  2. Curt 2015-04-06 09:18

    Two syllables in Kooiker’s name: koy-ker … and he’s from the Dutch-dominated NW corner of the great state of Iowa. He’s a grad (BA and MA) of USD where he met Mrs Kooiker (who hails from the Hills).

  3. Bill Fleming 2015-04-06 09:46

    This won’t rhyme if you pronounce Sam’s name right, but looks like it should, and reflects my general disposition on the matter.

    Let’s vote for Kooiker.
    Allender is spookier.

    You’re welcome, Sam. ;-)

  4. leslie 2015-04-06 09:48

    “paid for by stan a.”, I think he means, too.

    Stan has been buying mayors for as long as I have known of him. not Carlyle, though.

  5. mike from iowa 2015-04-06 10:32

    Thanks Curt. I come from a hill in Cherokee,Iowa,but not”THAT” hill-the one that houses the nut hut(1200 West Cedar Street) or the Mental Health Institute as it was formally called. :) It is now used for the criminally insane.

    I suspected Kooiker was Dutch. Around here we pronounce it quaker.

  6. Porter Lansing 2015-04-06 10:56

    Don’t vote Allender
    His gun’s small caliber

    … ha ha A cop for mayor? A poor choice, player!

  7. Rorschach 2015-04-06 11:06

    Vote for Kooiker, not the faker.

  8. caheidelberger Post author | 2015-04-06 11:18

    Bill, you slant!

    Unless someone gets really clever, the Mayor will need to stick with first-name rhymes. He could promote a pork processing plant to create jobs, more gay pride parades, and better mass transit: “Ham! Glam! Tram! Sam!”

    I’m still looking for one good policy bite that would rhyme with Kooiker.

  9. Douglas Wiken 2015-04-06 17:48

    Kooiker doesn’t rhyme with anything,
    but Kooiker stands for something.

  10. 96Tears 2015-04-06 17:57

    Has anyone noticed the similarities between Allender and the late Chilean President Salvador Guillermo Allende? Leftist plot? Just wonderin’. Heard he may be a commie.

  11. Stan Adelstein 2015-04-06 18:23

    Where were you – when I needed you?? What rhymes, ends, or smiles for adelstein??

  12. mike from iowa 2015-04-06 19:16

    Does menage a troisker work? Imagine speaking French with a Cockney accent.

  13. jerry 2015-04-06 20:05

    The militarization of the police will be huge in an Allender regime. More armored personnel carriers, maybe a couple of grenade launchers to go with an Abrams tank, more Winter Soldier.

  14. caheidelberger Post author | 2015-04-06 20:53

    Something to rhyme with Adelstein? Come on, team, we can do this!

    Pierre’s full of beans—fix ’em with Adelstein!

    For statesman’s wisdom evergreen, Vote for Stanford Adelstein!….

  15. Deb Geelsdottir 2015-04-06 21:08

    I thought Kooiker was pronounced KWAY-ker. How does he pronounce his name?

    (You should hear how badly people mangle my last name! It’s pronounced exactly as it looks, with a soft ‘g’. In case you wanted to know.)

  16. mike from iowa 2015-04-07 09:08

    Stoic allure for Kooiker. You asked for it.

    Vote for Stanford Adelstein
    Forget what political labels mean.

  17. mike from iowa 2015-04-07 10:36

    Curt 2015-04-06 at 09:18
    Two syllables in Kooiker’s name: koy-ker … and he’s from the Dutch-dominated NW corner of the great state of Iowa. He’s a grad (BA and MA) of USD where he met Mrs Kooiker (who hails from the Hills). :)

  18. Douglas Wiken 2015-04-07 11:45

    One certainly not for Adelstein: “Ich bien ein Adelstein.” Grammar and form probably wrong too. I remember very little of the German a few teachers tried to hammer into my head as my grades in it destroyed my GPA.

    Kooiker can be irritating, but Allender as a candidate should make Sam a shoo-in. I just don’t think former police and prosecutors have the right attitude set to make mayors who will pay any attention to the people.

  19. Deb Geelsdottir 2015-04-07 20:29

    Thanks Mike. I am now educated.

    My niece went to college in Orange City. Everything, and I mean Every Thing closed on Sunday. If one wanted to eat out, one drove to a nearby town. Reminds me of trying to buy ice on Utah Sundays. Aggravating!

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