Rabbits, ISIS, Rosco P. Coltrane—Danger Everywhere!

First bird flu, now rabbit fever:

A sudden rise in rabbit fever has been reported in South Dakota, particularly in the Black Hills.  Seven cases have been found since June.  Normally, the state only sees a half dozen each year.  The disease begins with a fever and is very difficult to diagnose, says state epidemiologist, Dr. Lon Kightlinger.

…Called rabbit fever because of its prevalence in rabbits and rodents, the disease can be fatal…

…Avoiding wildlife and protecting yourself against ticks and flies is the best way to prevent infection [“Rabbit Fever on the Rise,” WNAX Radio, 2015.07.31].

Well, heck, there goes one marketing plan for SDSU football… although maybe we should capitalize on being one of the top ten states for tularemia (the formal name for rabbit fever).

It’s just a harmless little bunny, isn’t it? You know this is coming:

So far rabbit fever appears to have attacked more South Dakotans than ISIS has, although the disease is apparently a good choice for bioterrorists looking to weaponize a bacteria. But rabbit fever and ISIS combined don’t appear to kill as many innocent Americans as high-speed police chases:

More than 5,000 bystanders and passengers have been killed in police car chases since 1979, and tens of thousands more were injured as officers repeatedly pursued drivers at high speeds and in hazardous conditions, often for minor infractions, a USA TODAY analysis shows.

The bystanders and the passengers in chased cars account for nearly half of all people killed in police pursuits from 1979 through 2013, USA TODAY found. Most bystanders were killed in their own cars by a fleeing driver [Thomas Frank, “High-Speed Police Chases Have Killed Thousands of Innocent Bystanders,” USA Today, 2015.07.30].

I wonder if the South Dakota Regiment will deploy this month along our highways to shoot out the tires of anyone driving too fast, including cops in hot pursuit… or maybe just don biohazard suits and pick up dead rabbits and rodents in the ditches.


4 Responses to Rabbits, ISIS, Rosco P. Coltrane—Danger Everywhere!

  1. mike from iowa

    Rosco P. passed away April 6th,2015 in Hickory,NC. RIP

  2. mike from iowa

    Rosco P. passed away April 6th,2015 in Hickory,NC. RIP Died of complications from pneumonia,not rabbit fever. Given name was Jewel Franklin Guy and his birth mother was Don and Phil Everly’s sister.

  3. Porter Lansing

    Hippopotamuses kill 2,900 people a year. Extrapolate that, GOP.

  4. Deb Geelsdottir

    Funny. Good one Cory.