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Do Fence Me In: Kristi Wants $400K Barrier Around Governor’s Mansion

Kristi Noem campaigned hamely on openness. Now that she occupies the Governor’s mansion, she wants closedness. Todd Epp finds that Governor Noem wants to spend $400,000 to build a fence around the Governor’s mansion:

According to a document found on the OpenSD website, the Office of the State Engineer on behalf of the state Bureau of Administration is requesting Statements of Interest from companies that would be willing to provide design services for the installation of a fence around the Governor’s mansion.

…The Statement of Interest goes on to note that due to the fast turnaround time a sealed cost proposal should be sent with the S-O-I. The budget for the project is 400-thousand dollars but may change [Todd Epp, “State Asking for Interest in Fencing S.D. Governor’s Mansion,” KELO Radio, 2019.05.28].

"Let me ride through the wide open country that I love..." representation of fence Kristi Noem wants to build around Governor's mansion.
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love…

Hmm… a fence would not have obviated the only major law enforcement action I can recall at the Governor’s mansion. And why would Kristi need to spend $400,000 of our money on a fence when she can enjoy the total security of a couple $400 permitless pistols concealed under her belt?

But hey, Trumpism is all about fearful control freaks erecting useless barriers. Carry on, Kristi!

Related Bidding: Homewyse estimates the cost of installing 1,200 feet of wooden privacy fence (my rough estimate of a simple rectangle around the Governor’s mansion, leaving some nice green space out front where Keystone XL protestors may peaceably gather) between $23,000 and $37,000. Chain link fencing would be cheaper, between $17,000 and $27,000. says we could get a nice Trumpy steel fence for $50 per linear foot, or $60,000 for my proposed 1,200-foot Kristi barrier.


  1. Buckobear 2019-05-29 11:22

    Great Pic. Build it. Then cut off all communications links, make getting in harder than getting out !! Perfect.

  2. Bill Kennedy 2019-05-29 11:56

    Queen Kristi – what a selfish, egotistic little spoiled girl. What the heck, it is just the serf taxpayers money. If they don’t like it, let them eat cake.

  3. mike from iowa 2019-05-29 12:05

    Make sure the razor wire leans in on top.

  4. David Newquist 2019-05-29 12:33

    I thought she said she intended to center the governorship on her own home and commute to Pierre when she thought her presence was required. Perhaps she intends to rent the governor’s mansion as a detention center for immigrants.

  5. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2019-05-29 12:51

    Hmm… David gets me wondering if maybe the $400K bid is meant to include some extra fencing for Kristi’s haceinda on Highway 81 back in Hamlin County….

  6. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2019-05-29 13:38

    Bill, I do get the sense Kristi perhaps overestimates her importance as she imagines the need to increase security at the mansion and the Capitol. You’d think with all these permitless pistols she’s authorized us to carry, she would feel so much more secure she wouldn’t need any fence.

  7. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2019-05-29 13:38

    But Buckobear and Mike may be on to something: maybe we’d all be better off if we kept Kristi behind a fence.

  8. Porter Lansing 2019-05-29 13:50

    Fences are a psychological tell. Who knows? Maybe she misses her friend with benefits in D.C.?
    ~Walls are built not for security, but for a sense of security. The distinction is important, as those who commission them know very well. What a wall satisfies is not so much a material need as a mental one. Walls protect people not from barbarians, but from anxieties and fears, which can often be more terrible than the worst vandals. In this way, they are built not for those who live outside them, threatening as they may be, but for those who dwell within. In a certain sense, then, what is built is not a wall, but a state of mind.

  9. Roger Cornelius 2019-05-29 17:47

    “Ms Noem, tear down this fence” – Anonymous

  10. grudznick 2019-05-29 17:54

    It does make one think about the campouts and mosh pits that could form on the nice lawn. Could this fence encompass the pond in the back yard of the mansion, keeping all the fishing for only the guests invited to the weekly backyard BBQs?

  11. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2019-05-29 18:15

    Roger, let’s meet in Pierre sometime and hold that sign up. :-)

    Porter, I’ll check my psyche, but my fence keeps my dog from running away. If Kristi is building a fence to keep the First Dog from running away, I’m cool with that. But if she needs $400K to build a dog fence, she must have a really big dog.

  12. 96Tears 2019-05-29 18:17

    Speaking on behalf of the South Dakota Skunk Trappers Guild, how many raccoon tails will Kristi need to pay for this gate? And can her boyfriend Donald Trump get her a deal on a wall design?

    How many Pillars of Protection will be involved in this project? How about if we cut costs and use Posts of Protection instead? Sounds costly.

  13. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2019-05-29 18:24

    Grudz, as your next Governor, I promise to host free fishing Fridays in the Governor’s backyard, followed by public cookout. We’ll do a mosh pit on New Year’s Eve, when people are wearing more clothing and thus better insulted from bruises.

  14. Porter Lansing 2019-05-29 18:31

    I’ve seen photos of your home, Cory and the fence doesn’t go completely around the house. The front is open to all. I’m guessing that’s the difference between you and the people who’re really building a fence around their mind not their property.

  15. mike from iowa 2019-05-29 18:31

    A humorous wall sidenote, the Go Fund Me wall project construction was shut down for lack of permits. No wall built as yet, Drumpf.

  16. Bill Kennedy 2019-05-29 18:31

    Wonder how many loads of gravel that $400,000 could provide for township or county roads?

  17. Roger Cornelius 2019-05-29 20:33

    Speaking of fences, CNN had a report on this afternoon about the fences and walls around Mar-a-Lago and how easily they can be breached.
    Additionally the compound has several underground passage ways that can be easily accessible.
    It seems that Mar-a-Lago is a secret service agent worst nightmare.

  18. T 2019-05-29 21:36

    Meanwhile illinois advances and can build a lit of fence on their new taxable product

  19. Debbo 2019-05-29 23:13

    I’m betting Noem wants some type of solid wall, maybe brick or masonry, whatever matches the house. Lots of security cameras, electronic access to a fancy gate, maybe a guard house beside it. Real New York security, ya know? Keep the hoi polloi away and outta sight.

    “Gov. Uptown Kristi Noem.”

  20. Jenny 2019-05-29 23:24

    Why the heck would this fence cost 400 thousand dollars. I could see wanting a privacy fence, but she could be a true conservative like Cory and get it done with the prices he quoted.
    The Noem’s really need to get over themselves.

  21. 96Tears 2019-05-29 23:40

    How many of you remember The Berm? The governor was George S. Mickelson and the press discovered a project kept under the radar to build a berm along E. Capitol Avenue.


    Well, the governor’s family felt they needed more privacy. For instance, if a backyard barbecue was going on, Lookie Lou’s driving or walking by might start staring at folks having fun on the Governor’s Mansion patio.

    This was before Mike Rounds cut a deal with his fatcat pals and collected donations to build the $3 million current structure.

    The Berm created a little buzz. I’ve passed by many times and can’t really see what the state paid for. It didn’t block much from view. In fact, it wasn’t much of a berm.

    Apparently, The Berm isn’t enough for Empress Kristi. What if the peasants rose up and rioted on E. Cabot Street and set up a guillotine in the park where the Civil War dude statue sets? That Berm won’t stop the cretins. No, Empress Kristi needs a fence …. no, make that a wall with sharp spikes on top.

    Oh yes, the unwashed masses will think twice about dragging the Empress to justice!

    A half million bucks is a bargain to sparing the Empress!

  22. Debbo 2019-05-30 00:05

    Nope, don’t remember the Berm. Do you remember what it cost? Just curious.

  23. 96Tears 2019-05-30 00:55

    Just spitballin’ here, Deb, but I think it was $30K.

  24. jerry 2019-05-30 02:36

    I have been working the numbers with the local lumber yard and have come up with a plan that would not cost the taxpayers one thin dime. In fact, it would be free to the taxpayer. I would personally cover the costs. The fence would consist of several wooden (eco friendly) stakes that would be strapped with fiber (bio degradable) tape (that would last this knothead’s term). The fiber would be bright yellow and say “crime scene” for all passer by’s. As with all crime scene’s, the public would never cross the line, problem solved.

  25. Debbo 2019-05-30 02:50

    Perfect, Jerry, just perfect.

    Thanks for the info 96.

  26. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2019-05-30 10:17

    Jerry, forget saving money; we could make money! Sell ads on Kristi’s fence, just like we have at the ballpark. “Menards: Helping your Governor hide from you since 2019!” “Carharrt: Used by real farmers and pretend farmers every day!”

    Heck, open Kristi’s fence up to advertising, and I’ll even buy a panel: “Dakota Free Press: We cover Kristi every day.”

  27. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2019-05-30 10:19

    96, any chance we could use the Mickelson berm to install a sustainable onsite wastewater system?

  28. chris 2019-05-30 11:49

    More like Gov. Cersei Noem.

  29. Donald Pay 2019-05-30 11:49

    My daughter, Miss Piggy and Mrs. Hippopotamus used to walk over to Governor Janklow’s house every night at bedtime in the story I would tell my daughter as she went off to sleep. They knocked on his door, and then each one told him they didn’t want nuclear waste in South Dakota. Janklow didn’t seem to mind, but Kristi, apparently, can’t handle those rough characters. They don’t need no pistol, either, they wanted me to tell you.

  30. o 2019-05-30 12:13

    Will Mexico pay for this one too?

    Does the $400K price include the uptick from new Chinese tariffs?

  31. Mark 2019-05-31 11:42

    I think that the fence is a great idea.
    Enclose Kristyland and then tell
    Her and her pals that they are not only not welcome on the Pine Ridge Reservation , but they are not welcome anywhere in our state outside of
    If she comes out without our permission, she will be banished
    for life.
    Works for me.

  32. Dana P 2019-06-01 08:09

    Rumor has it out in these parts, that the wedding of Ms Noem’s daughter (Kassidy) is getting married in Custer State Park this weekend.

    Hmmm. So how many SD taxpayer dollars are going to be spent on this (travel, per diem, etc)?

    And for administrative purposes, should the paperwork be filed with this fence construction documents? Or, will it be billed separately?

  33. Dana P 2019-06-01 08:10

    uggg, “is occurring in Custer State Park this weekend”

    My apologies…..

  34. leslie 2019-06-02 14:53

    Interesting optics. Kristi felonizes riot boosters at SRST. OST bans Kristi from unannounced appearances on rez. Kristi walls herself in.

    Next step, have Indian Agent Valentine MaGillicuddy arrest tribal chair Jullian Bear Runner because of fear, riot boosting, spying on Kristi….?

    How about knowing where reservation land is in your state and consulting with soveriegn tribal governments when fossil fuel corporations eminent domain their way across ag lands across your state. Maybe get serious about being governor rather than being a nepotist and militia/white supremacy boosting.

  35. Ken 2020-08-13 22:02

    Trump couldn’t build the wall but Kristi is going to! Who is she afraid of? Us taxpayers?

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