Hey, criminals! You know those Miranda rights the police read you, particularly the first one about your right to remain silent and how anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law? You should understand that “say” includes any form of expression, including posting video of your crimes on the Internet.
Learning that lesson this week are the six Sioux Falls knuckleheads charged with kidnapping and pounding the crap out of an acquaintance whom they say stole their petty cash and pot:
On February 4th, investigators say a man was walking in central Sioux Falls when he was attacked by three men he knew.
“The parties were separated when a neighbor came out and yelled at the group,” Capt. Josh Phillips of the Minnehaha Co. Sheriff’s Office said.
According to the affidavit, the alleged victim ran to a nearby apartment. Two of the suspects in the case lived there, and the other four eventually showed up. Court documents say the victim got into an SUV with all six suspects.
The victim told investigators he,”…went into a defensive mode where he believed compliance was his only option.”
“Eventually, our victim in the case was brought out just north of Sioux Falls, off of Ditch Road,” Phillips said.
That’s where investigators say there was another assault, and it was recorded on Snapchat.
“I think our detectives, along with the PD, did a really good job, along with the victim, of getting them as much information as we could. Getting the video was very helpful to identify those individuals,” Phillips said [Jordan DeSmet, “Court Docs: Kidnapping Victim Allegedly Struck 208 Times,” KELO-TV, updated 2026.04.12].
No participant in this fracas was exercising good judgment. What little critical thinking may have seeped into their brutality—Hey, dudes (and dudette!), maybe we should take him out to the country to pummel him so nobody sees—was completely negated when one of the perps whipped out a phone and Snapchatted the aggravated assault for the world to see.
Everyone, the criminal underbelly of Sioux Falls and the most God-fearing, law-abiding South Dakotans alike, should remember one simple rule about the Internet:
If you put something bad online, somebody you don’t want seeing it will see it. Just ask Bryon Noem.
You know I’ve never known a Miranda. Ditch Road is between all those Renner Crooks too. Dangerous territory.