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Yummy in Kristi’s Tummy: Tommy Jacks Censored Burger Designed to Educate Noem on Hemp

Downtown Sioux Falls and the South Dakota Cattlemen’s Foundation are sponsoring the Seventh Annual Downtown Burger Battle. (The Cattlemen’s Foundation website only mentions the 2018 Burger Battle, but apparently they still make the rules for the contest.) Sixteen downtown are competing for your taste buds and your votes (via the surely data-harvesting DTSF Digital Passport app) with a variety of beefy monstrosities.

My enthusiasm for burgers has waned in recent years as I find it harder to get restaurants to serve me my meat the way I like it—i.e., not raw—and too many of the competitors seem to think jalapeño is the new pickle, but if I can order mine black and crispy, there are several that look tasty: Swamp Daddy’s Voodoo Juicy Lucy, Falls Landing’s Armada Burger, Mackenzie River’s Chorizo Burger, Blarney Stone’s Fuisce, The Treasury’s Frenchie…

…and what’s this: The Censored Burger?

Tommy Jack's Pub: The Censored Burger
Tommy Jack’s Pub: The Censored Burger

Tommy Jack’s Pub, right by Nyberg’s Ace on 12th Street, lists all the spillings from the Censored Burger’s locally baked bun as “a one-third pound fresh hand patties hemp infused burger, topped with bacon, egg, pepper jack cheese, sautéed onions and peppers, drizzled with house-made hemp infused aioli….”

Mmmm, egg and aioli… but hemp-infused aioli? Is that legal in South Dakota? Is that why it’s called the “Censored” Burger?

One LoShi NayKali, who publicly lists his occupation on Facebook as “Kitchen Beard at Tommy Jacks,” offers this post explaining that the name doesn’t refer to the burger’s ingredients but to the name original name that DTSF rejected, “The Krusti Noem Burger“:

Censored Krusti Noem Burger, Tommy Jacks Pub, FB photo by LoShi NayKali, 2020.01.09.
That’s the way to do it—more aioli! Censored Krusti Noem Burger, Tommy Jacks Pub, FB photo by LoShi NayKali, 2020.01.09.
Handouts explaining name of Censored/Krusti Noem Burger, Tommy Jacks Pub, FB photo by LoShi NayKali, 2020.01.09.
Handouts explaining name of Censored/Krusti Noem Burger, Tommy Jacks Pub, FB photo by LoShi NayKali, 2020.01.09.
Close-up of handout explaining name of Censored/Krusti Noem Burger, Tommy Jacks Pub, FB photo by LoShi NayKali, 2020.01.09.
Close-up of handout explaining name of Censored/Krusti Noem Burger, Tommy Jacks Pub, FB photo by LoShi NayKali, 2020.01.09.

Where did this deliciousness get its name from…. The original name was The Krusti Noem Burger. Sadly, DTSF (Downtown Sioux Falls) does not support our freedom of speech and they were not going to allow us to be part of Burger Battle 2020 if we didn’t change the name. Not wanting any of you to be deprived of this mouthwatering burger we played nice and appropriately renamed it The Censored Burger [flyer posted by LoShi NayKali, Facebook, 2020.01.09].

I think I know a Girls Stater who might want to try the Censored Krusti Noem Burger… and get a photo of it with her coffee mug.

But seriously, DTSF? You let M.B. Haskett put Trump’s name in their burger, and you wouldn’t let Tommy Jack’s use Noem’s? How is that fair?

The description of the Censored Krusti Noem Burger declares Tommy Jack’s educational intent:

Unfortunately, our state’s top leader, Kristi Noem, does not seem to have educated herself on the hemp plant and the variety of positive uses it provides. So, to try and bring awareness to her and her puppet masters… we created The Krusti Noem Burger.

Like the majority of South Dakotans and Americans, we see and support the multiple growing ways hemp is useful and beneficial. One of the best uses is in our food. Hemp seeds have been highlighted and increasing in popularity due to their nutritious value and health benefits. No other single plant source can compare with the nutritional value of hemp seeds. In its small seed, it packs a good source of amino acids, protein, fiber, and essential fatty acids. Hemp seeds are also considered to be more allergy-free than other seeds [NayKali, 2020.01.09].

Governor Noem announced her landmark flip-flop on hemp the same day NayKali posted this description of the Censored Krusti Noem Burger; perhaps as a demonstration of her coming around, the Governor’s smarter staff will advise her to drop by the Burger Battle and sample this educational entrant that DTSF tried to silence.

Make my burger crusty—Super Krusti!

19 Comments

  1. Mark 2020-01-12 10:40

    Now THATS funny.
    Shame on you DTSF. Baaaaaad
    decision you sheep.

  2. jerry 2020-01-12 12:51

    One thing for certain, next time I’m in Sioux Falls, Tommy Jack’s place is where I’m heading for the Krusti Noem burger. Great advertising to show how to make lemonade with the sour pusses of the DTSF. Kudos to those folks there to change the name appropriately.

  3. Porter Lansing 2020-01-12 14:09

    I offered to be an all expenses paid judge. Apparently the 1995 National Burger Cookoff Champion is a bit too liberal to play with this subgroup of the National Cattlemen. (The prize money I won, now $50,000 comes from the beef board checkoff. A more prestigious wing of the group then these Dakota Cattle Herders, anyway.)

  4. jerry 2020-01-12 14:24

    Porter, I think the Dakota Cattle Herders are innocent on this censor. It looks like the idiot mayor and his cronies put the hammer down on the name.

    Speaking of names, Chubby came to visit to prop up Krusti, when will Krusti pay them off for the money that was embarrassment?

  5. Porter Lansing 2020-01-12 14:36

    I see, Jerry. Speaking of names, I love those Krusti Kreme doughnuts she makes. And, their mascot Krusti the Clown is a real hoot.

  6. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2020-01-12 16:29

    Great advertising indeed, Jerry, akin to the “Tiger Meat—We’re On It” campaign that Kessler’s here in Aberdeen now has up on the bright digital billboard on Sixth Ave SE.

    But I don’t know that we should invoke the mayor in this somewhat failed restriction of Tommy Jack’s free expression. DTSF is a private organization, separate from city government.

  7. Porter Lansing 2020-01-12 18:05

    Well read burgers in the contest.
    3. I like The Frenchie w/ champagne braised onions, frisee, pickled radishes and Tomme Crayeuse. – The Treasury
    2. I like The 210. Simple yet big depth w/ green chile bacon (They spelled chile wrong in the description, though.), havarti and a jelly that’s modeled after this one, I suppose. https://www.atwatersfood.com/new-blog/2016/3/17/fresno-pepper-jam *Putting Danish cheese on a Southwestern themed burger is unacceptable fusion to most palates. – Parker’s Bistro
    1. I really like the Flamengo w/ beef & sausage, Cambazola (a combination cheese of Camembert and Gorgonzola), and Rosada sauce (mayo made with lime, tomatoes, and hot peppers.) It’s also fusion (German cheese on a Southwestern themed burger. Cambazola is a fusion cheese from inception, however combining French and Italian cheese making techniques.) but what the heck. It is Sioux Falls and anything goes, huh? – Fernson Downtown

  8. grudznick 2020-01-12 18:35

    gruznick likes burgers, and to make them fancy you can heat up the lid of the burger a bit on the grill and then put a nice slice of American cheese, and here’s a good chef’s trick, Mr. Lansing, put a slice both above and below the burger. Mmm. Burgers with American cheese.

    And for the legislatures, they get free burgers like that every single night. I envy them for this.

  9. Debbo 2020-01-12 23:48

    Tommy Jack’s might have called it, Burgers, We’re On It.

    The Strib has an article in the Business section about the Broadhead ad agency. It’s apparently pretty successful. They had this to say about the Krusti Noem meth debacle:

    reaction was immediate with many critics incredulously pointing to what some viewed as a flippant motto about a serious issue. A Washington Post story quoted one marketing expert saying, “I’m sure South Dakota residents don’t like being laughed at. That’s what’s happening right now.”

    But Broadhead, which had reportedly been paid close to $450,000 by that time for its work on the campaign, held fast to the marketing’s effectiveness, an outlook that was also echoed by South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem, who tweeted, “the whole point of this ad campaign is to raise awareness. So I think that’s working.”

    “Nobody was talking about something that really needed to be talked about,” Broadhead said.

    Beth Burgy, president of the Broadhead agency, said that when South Dakota put out a request for proposals for the campaign the firm’s leaders saw an interesting opportunity.

    “What you saw in the campaign was what we pitched which doesn’t happen all the time,” Broadhead said.

    The campaign was “relentlessly tested in market,” as they ran it by different stakeholders, Broadhead said. Historically, a lot of other anti-drug or smoking campaigns have been repetitive with dark and gritty messaging and an emphasis on “drugs are bad,” Burgy said.

    “I think really the whole point of that campaign was to do something different. … If it’s truly a state problem, then the whole state has to get on it as an organization, the whole community,” she said. “You get teachers and parents and tribal elders and family members involved to solve it.”

    Despite the criticism, Burgy and Broadhead said the campaign, which will run through May, has accomplished its goal to get people talking about the meth epidemic and bring awareness to the resources out there to tackle the problem.

    Part of the reason Broadhead is able to take risks like the South Dakota campaign is it remains one of the few independent ad agencies in Minneapolis. Broadhead became the largest independent marketing firm in the Twin Cities about a year ago after the sale of the Periscope advertising agency to Wisconsin printing company Quad/Graphics Inc. Most of the high profile ad agencies in the region are owned by global holding companies.

    is.gd/Hj7xrE

  10. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2020-01-13 05:23

    Well, Tommy Jacks Pub got people talking about its hemp-aioli burger, and they didn’t spend $1.4 million.

    Advertisers are inherently untrustworthy.

  11. jerry 2020-01-13 08:34

    Dick Cheney went on the tee vee to advertise the Iraq War need with lies. Colin Powell disgraced himself with the lies in front of the UN to advertise the Iraq War. Yes, we are still talking about the awareness of a lies that still goes on this very minute involving the same place.

    Mad men advertising works to make us more cynical as we see the bull crap in it all while it eats away at our taxpaying pockets. The oily outfit in Minneapolis pulled the wool right over the sheep here in South Dakota. Wonder how many political donations that deal pulled off.

  12. john 2020-01-13 10:49

    black and crispy, Cory… c’mon man, gotta love that blood butter.

  13. Donald Pay 2020-01-13 11:49

    Does it come with a heaping side of bulls**t?

  14. mike from iowa 2020-01-13 12:25

    and another subsidy for Noem’s family.

  15. Porter Lansing 2020-01-13 17:38

    Damn, grudzburger. I don’t need to call you dull.
    And, Cory. From the looks it’s mayonnaise being called aioli (which is homemade mayo from egg yolks and oil, spun until it suspends). Hopefully it’s hemp seed infused because eating hemp is like eating alfalfa. Moooooooo … :)

  16. grudznick 2020-01-13 18:35

    Sometimes, Mr. Lansing, when I’m feeling especially fancy and adventurous, I’ll put three squirts of ketchup and some of that fancy Plochman’s Mild Yellow mustard on it, too. That, my friends, is a burger.

  17. Porter Lansing 2020-01-13 18:45

    I have a little, yellow, keg of Plochman’s on hand for all my gourmet events. :) You’re a connoisseur of fine accoutrements, gruzmon.

  18. kj trailer trash 2020-01-14 12:33

    Hungry now for some reason; I can’t quite figure out why……..

  19. Cory Allen Heidelberger Post author | 2020-01-17 06:42

    KSFY mentions not one but two hemp burgers in the DTSF Burger Battle but sidesteps the origins of the “Censored” name. KSFY does give DTSF marekting coordinator Sadie Swier a chance to make it sound like DTSF is all about free speech and political statements:

    While the creators of the SoDakGrown Burger say there’s no political background or influence on their burger, DTSF reps say there can be power in food.

    “Using food to bring awareness about maybe a topic or just about what’s going on in current issues I think is a really great way to express the creativity that’s going on,” said Swier [Jacob Cersosimo, “Hemp Moves into DTSF Burger Battle,” KSFY, 2020.01.16].

    Swier and Tommy Jacks Pub seem to disagree about DTSF’s openness to creative campaigning through food.

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